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The first panic attack I ever had was on a train in London. I was in my early twenties, going through the hardest period of my life, I was hungover, and the train stopped in the middle of nowhere with the doors shut.
Within a minute my heart was pounding, my chest felt tight, and I was absolutely convinced something was seriously wrong with me.
That train ride was the start of six years of panic attacks.
And during those six years I did pretty much everything I could think of to stop them.
I carried plastic bags with me in case I'd throw up in public (which, by the way, never happened). I always had peppermints in my pocket and anxiety "calming" apps on my phone.
I quit coffee and alcohol so strictly that one accidental sip of coffee could make me freak out, because in my head caffeine and panic had become the same thing. I sat near exits, avoided public transport, and went through five different therapists.
And still, the panic attacks kept coming...
If you're searching for what to do during a panic attack, I'm guessing you've tried a lot of this too, maybe with your own version of the peppermints and the plastic bags.
So let me give you the answer I wish someone had given me years earlier:
Most of what we instinctively do during a panic attack is exactly what makes it worse.
You're not doing anything wrong when you do these things, you're doing exactly what any human being would do when their body is screaming danger.
It's just that every one of those actions sends a message to your brain, and that message is what keeps the whole cycle going.
So let's talk a little about that.
What's Actually Happening During a Panic Attack
To understand why the usual tricks backfire, you first need to know what a panic attack actually is. Because once I understood this, a big part of the fear started to fall away for me.
Deep in your brain sits one of the oldest survival systems we have: the fight or flight response.
Its only job is to keep you alive. The moment it detects danger, it floods your body with adrenaline and other stress hormones so you can run or fight, and every sensation you feel during a panic attack comes from that:
- Your heart pounds because it's pumping extra blood to your arms and legs, so you're ready to move.
- Your breathing speeds up to get more oxygen in. Breathing fast and shallow also changes the balance of gasses in your blood, which is where the lightheadedness and the pins and needles in your hands come from.
- Your muscles tense up, including the ones around your ribs, which is why your chest feels tight or even stings.
- Blood gets pulled away from your digestion, because digesting lunch isn't a priority when you're running from a tiger, so you feel nauseous.
- Your senses go into overdrive, which can make the world feel strange or unreal.
I remember having sharp stings in my chest and struggling to breathe, and being convinced it was my heart.
My doctor explained it was all the fast breathing during my panic attacks, and that my heart was fine. I honestly hated that answer and didn't want to trust it... but it was the truth.
Now think about what happens when there's real danger, like a fire alarm going off in your building. You'd feel the exact same sensations, but you wouldn't panic about them. You'd link them to the fire, get yourself outside, and they'd fade once you were safe.
With a panic attack, the alarm goes off without a fire.
Your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do... at the wrong time, and at the wrong intensity!
And because your brain can't find a danger outside of you, it starts looking inside.
A racing heart turns into "What if this is a heart attack?", dizziness turns into "What if I faint?", and nausea turns into "What if I throw up in front of everyone?"
That's the moment it turns into panic. Your brain answers that what-if question with a doomsday scenario, you start focusing on the thing you don't want to happen, and that fear tells your body the danger is real.
So it releases even more adrenaline, the sensations get stronger, and the next what-if comes even faster. That's the cycle of anxiety, and it keeps spinning until it peaks.
And this is where it gets interesting. A big surge of adrenaline can't last very long, because your body simply can't keep producing that much of it.
So a panic attack always comes down on its own. What makes it last, or come back again and again, is us adding fresh fear on top of it.
It also explains why panic attacks keep showing up after the first one. Once you're afraid of having another one, your body stays on alert all the time, releasing small amounts of adrenaline even on a normal day.
I used to feel it days, sometimes weeks, before anything I was nervous about. The alarm is set so sensitive that the tiniest thing sets it off. What we call, a sensitized nervous system.
So the real question isn't "How do I stop a panic attack?" The real question is:
What is the way I behave teaching my brain?
(Quick but important side note: if you have new symptoms, or symptoms that feel different from your usual panic, get them checked by a doctor. Once you know it's anxiety, everything below applies.)
What Makes a Panic Attack Worse
These are the things almost everyone does, and I did every single one of them for years. They feel completely logical in the moment, and some of them even give you a little bit of relief.
But they all have one thing in common: they're done in a rush to get rid of the panic, and that's exactly what keeps it alive.
1. Trying to make it stop
This is the big one. The breathing exercises, breathing into a paper bag, the counting, the "calm down, calm down, CALM DOWN" going on in your head.
When your whole goal is to get rid of the panic, every second it stays feels like failure, and failure feels like more danger. So the alarm gets louder instead of quieter.
And the crazy thing is... slow breathing isn't bad in itself. The problem is using it as a weapon against the feeling.
One member described it perfectly when she said she was "trying to feel calm during shallow breaths." That's a fight you can't win, and the fighting itself is what keeps you stuck.
Think of it like a bucket that holds all your stress. Resisting the panic does two things at once: it blocks the drain at the bottom, so your nervous system can't settle on its own, and it pours more water in, because resisting tells your brain there's something to be afraid of.
Great mechanism, isn't it?!
2. Escaping
Leaving the grocery store halfway through, pulling over on the highway, walking out of the meeting, going home early.
Escaping brings instant relief, which is exactly why it's so convincing.
But your brain files it away as "Pffewwwww... that was dangerous, good thing we got out of there," and the next time you're in a similar spot, the alarm goes off even sooner.
That's how panic that started on one train slowly spreads to buses, supermarkets, cinemas and eventually anywhere you can't leave right away. (I found this out the hard way).
3. Safety behaviors
This one is sneaky, because it doesn't feel like you're doing anything. For me it was the plastic bags, the peppermints, the apps, avoiding coffee at all costs.
For you it might be the water bottle, the phone that always has to be charged, the person who has to come along, or the seat near the door.
One member brought her whole kit to a call with us, a bag full of things she carried "just in case." Each item made sense on its own, but together they were telling her brain every single day: "You can't handle this without us."
And there's another problem with them. When you panic with your peppermints in your pocket and nothing bad happens, your brain gives the credit to the peppermints.
You never get to find out that nothing bad would have happened anyway. As long as your safety lives outside of you, you never get to learn that you were safe all along.
4. Checking and reassurance
Checking your pulse, asking someone "Do I look okay?", Googling your symptoms at 2am, going to the ER "just to be sure." I had health anxiety on top of the panic, so believe me, I know this one.
And we've talked to people who went to the ER three times in one week. (!)
I wrote a whole article on why checking keeps your anxiety going, but the short version is this: every check is a small vote for "this might be dangerous."
The relief never lasts, so you check again... and again... and again.
And it sucks.
5. Trying to figure out why
"Why now? I was fine a minute ago! What triggered this?!"
It feels productive, like if you could just find the cause, you could stop it.
But analyzing in the middle of a panic attack only gives your brain more things to scan for.
Our head mentor, Mirka, says it so well: "It's not your job to know why panic shows up. Your only job is your response."
What to Do During a Panic Attack Instead
If fighting the panic is what keeps it going, then what to do during a panic attack is, in a way... less fighting! (Duh?!)
Less fixing and less running, so the wave can do what waves do and pass through you.
That sounds simple, and it is. It's just not easy, because it goes against every instinct and automatic habit you have. So let me walk you through what that looks like in practice.
Allow it to be there
Instead of "Make this stop," try telling yourself something like "Okay, this is panic. It's just adrenaline, and it's allowed to be here."
That isn't giving up. You're simply refusing to treat it as an emergency, and that one shift is what starts to break the cycle.
You can still hate it (I definitely did), and you don't have to like it one bit. Allowing just means you stop adding a second layer of fear on top of the first one. If you want to go deeper on this, read how to respond properly to anxiety.
Let the sensations do whatever they want
Is your heart racing? Let it race, it's a strong muscle and it's built for this.
Feeling dizzy? Let it be dizzy for a while.
Tight chest? Let it be tight.
Try to notice the sensations the way you'd notice the weather, without treating them as proof that something is wrong.
And remind yourself what they are: a surge of natural stress hormones that your body will burn off on its own if you let it.
(If the chest symptoms are what scare you most, this article on chest pain from anxiety explains why it feels so freaking convincing.)
Stay where you are, if you can
When my last therapist asked me to take a busy rush-hour train for 30 minutes without any stops, my immediate answer was "No freaking way, never."
The next morning I took that train anyway. No music, no bag, no peppermints. The doors closed, my anxiety went up a little... and then nothing happened.
No panic attack at all. I actually asked my therapist afterwards if I'd done something wrong...
And we kinda had a good laugh about that.
It's not always that smooth, by the way, either.
When I went to the cinema to practice this, I had three panic attacks during one movie.
But I stayed, I let each one wash over me like a wave, and I watched every single one come down on its own. Months later I watched a film there with my full attention, and no panic at all.
So stay, and carry on with what you were doing as well as you can while the panic is there.
Keep pushing the cart, keep driving at a normal pace, keep talking even if it feels clumsy.
Every time you stay, your brain gets new evidence: "That felt awful... and nothing bad happened."
Or as one member put it: "Each wave I go through trains my brain that there's no danger."
And remember that responding properly looks different per day. Some days staying is doable and some days it isn't, and that's okay. You're building a skill, not passing a test.
Remember what panic can't do
Panic feels like it can make you lose control, go crazy or worse.
But it's your body trying to help you survive, it's not built to break you.
We wouldn't have survived as a species if panic actually made us incapable.
And something that helped me a LOT: panic is way less visible than it feels. The one thing I heard over a hundred times from my closest friends and family was "I didn't even notice you were having a panic attack. Wish you told me!"
And I'd think: "Wasn't it obvious?!"
Inside it felt like a huge storm was crashing down, but on the outside it barely showed.
Once I even told a dental assistant that I often had panic attacks and was worried I'd have one in the chair. Instead of reassuring me, she said: "Please don't, or I might have one too!"
She had them all the time herself, and I'd never have guessed. That's insane isn't it? One in six people suffer from this worldwide! Most of us are masters at hiding it.
Give it a name, and don't take it so seriously
In my own recovery I gave my anxiety a name: Jerry, a little red furry cartoon monster ;)
Swimming used to trigger panic for me almost on cue. So one day I pictured Jerry sitting on my head, terrified of drowning, and it looked so stupid that I started laughing. The panic didn't come.
It sounds silly, and that's kind of the point. It's hard to treat something as a life-threatening emergency while you're laughing at it.
Some members go with something a bit more blunt. One woke up in full panic and, instead of fighting it, just thought: "F*ck it. Just f*ck it." And she went on with her morning.
F it!!
Watch out for the acceptance trap
This one took me a while to notice. When I started accepting my panic attacks, they would die down almost immediately, so I thought "Great, I've finally found something that makes it go away!"
And without realizing it, I'd turned acceptance into another way to fight the panic.
If you're allowing it only so it will leave, you're still resisting, just in a nicer outfit.
The goal isn't to make the panic go away faster. The goal is to be okay with it being there for as long as it wants, and the calm will come as a natural result of that.
Why Not Caring Is What Makes Panic Fade
I know this part sounds way too simple, so let me give you a real example.
A member once told us he went to the mountains, with no cell service, and spent two days actively TRYING to have a panic attack. It never came!!!
(Spoiler: that member was Brandon, who many of you now know as he's a prominent part of the Anxiety Wave team as advisor and mentor ;))
Another member put it like this: "I don't care if I have a panic attack anymore, and because of that, it doesn't come."
Panic runs on fear of panic. When you're truly willing to have it, there's nothing left to protect yourself from, and your brain gets the message that this can't be real danger, because you'd never respond to real danger that way.
The alarm simply loses its job.
Does that mean you'll never feel a spike again? Probably not, you and I both know anxiety doesn't work like a light switch.
But it stops meaning something. You notice it, you shrug, and you carry on with your day.
For me, the funny thing is that I didn't even notice when it happened.
One day I sat down, thought about it, and realized I hadn't felt anxiety in a long time.
I'd been so busy doing the things I wanted to do that I'd stopped thinking about it altogether.
And that was years ago now. And I haven't had panic or anxiety symptoms ever since.
"But What If This Time It's the Worst One?"
I know this thought so well, it used to show up with every single attack: "What if this one is different? What if... what if..."
But think about it for a second. You've already survived every panic attack you've ever had, including the worst one.
Back then you were probably throwing gasoline on the fire without knowing it, and you still came out the other side. Or as one of our coaches likes to say:
"Your worst panic attack is already behind you."
You don't need to fully believe that during the next one. You just need to be willing to stay, allow it to be there, and see what happens when you don't run.
The Short Version (for the Moment Itself)
If you're reading this mid-panic, or you want something to remember for next time:
- This is panic. Uncomfortable, but not dangerous.
- Allow it to be here. Don't try to make it stop.
- Let the sensations do their thing. Racing, dizzy, tight... all allowed.
- Stay and carry on with what you were doing, as well as you can.
- No rush. It fades on its own once you stop feeding it.
That's it, really. It's not a technique to win the fight, it's a way to stop fighting altogether.
Because the goal was never to stop having panic attacks.
The goal is to stop being afraid of them, and when that happens, they tend to fade on their own.
It took me six years, five therapists, and about 20 grand to figure that out, so I hope this saves you a bit of time.
Thank you for reading.
-Jort
This article is for education and is based on lived experience. It is not medical advice and does not replace a doctor or therapist. If you have new or changing symptoms, get them checked by a doctor. If you are in crisis, contact your local emergency number.
